Top 10 Practice Tips About Communication, Listening, and Apology
Elder Mediation Training Webinar Series
Ami S. Jaeger, MA, JD
Noelle Graney, JD
Copyright 2012 BioLaw Ethics Institute. All Rights Reserved.
Download PDF of “Listening to Communicate” >
1. As the listener you are responsible for at least half of the dialogue. Effective communication is a joint effort between speaker and listener.
2. When you are listening, try not to think about what you are going to say next. Focus on what the speaker is saying and communicating to you.
3. Go beyond the head nod and use active listening techniques! Try clarifying, paraphrasing, parroting, and asking reflective listening questions to get at peoples’ feelings.
Credit: Harris, Richard, The Listening Leader: Powerful New Strategies for Becoming an Influential Communicator, Praeger Press, Westport, CT, 2006.
4. “Before I tell, I should ask. Before I talk, I should listen.”?
Credit: American Arbitration Association, Essential Skills for the New Mediator, San Francisco, American Arbitration Association, 2012.
5. Ask open ended questions. Be aware that the questions you ask impact the information or response you receive. Your questions shape the emotional impact of the conversation.
6. There is always new information to learn from a communication.
7. Caring about what others are saying is the heart of good communication.
8. We are not shown how to be angry in a warm, creative, connected way. We suppress anger, and then it comes out in an explosive way. It doesn’t have to be this way.
Credit: Mayer, Bernard. The Dynamics of Conflict: A Guide to Engagement and Intervention, San Francisco, Jossey-Bass, 2nd Ed. 2012.
9. Acknowledgment of a problem or poor outcome allows reflection on emotions and disappointments in a way that can lead to understanding of each other and the roles each played and acceptance of the situation.
10. Sincere, heartfelt apology is powerful.